Definition of validating feelings
I attended a lecture by Harville Hendrix, founder of Imago Therapy. Because in the midst of a heated battle about whether he was actually going to follow through on a promise he made, a light bulb went off: I really don’t need him to validate that my feelings are okay.
And ultimately, the belief that feelings need to be validated to be valid was the cause of my codependency.
Be assured that I do not want to blame parents for causing the problem. However parents can change their attitudes and improve their communication skills which will help their adult child.
When parents use validation the emotionality of a person with borderline will decrease.
In other words people with BPD have difficulties regulating several, if not all, their emotions.” There is a biological component and an environmental component.
She posits that their problems occur because of an emotional vulnerability of the child and maladaptive or inadequate responses from their environment to emotion modulation strategies.Here’s what it comes down to: If you don’t believe your feelings are genuine, real, and legitimate, nothing your partner says will make a difference.